Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
