That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
