He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
