My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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