you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
