I'm really into asian looking animals
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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