i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
