i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
