Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
