literally had 100 drinks last night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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