he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
