He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
