Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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