...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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