I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
