He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize