I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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