So drunk its hurt
I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize