Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
