OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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