Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
