please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
