I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
