i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
