Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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