I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
