I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
