how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize