glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this will be a night to untag.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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