are you still at the devil's house?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
