happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
