I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When did angry sex become our thing?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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