The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
