Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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