we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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