last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
