I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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