That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
