Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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