great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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