69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
