Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
