Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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