oh god the rape fog is back!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
