God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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