And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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