Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
