i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
