Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
