I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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