I want to stick my p in your. b.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
