she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
