I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
