She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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