my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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