sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
