i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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