everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
4 words: hood of his car
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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