I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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