so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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