I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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